Terms and Conditions

Terms and Conditions

Was told I had to write up some terms and conditions and I have to admit, it had me stumped for while.
In the end these six basic rules is what I came up with and to me it all seems pretty reasonable?

Please have a read and if you don’t agree and you reckon I am expecting far too much from you then now is the time to pull out.
Just close the window or tab and leave the website.

No harm, no foul, no dramas at all.

By buying or paying for any product or service on this website you agree to the terms and conditions of sale.

Rule number 1.

The first rule of this website is this page, the Terms and Conditions page, must be read carefully and you must have a good understanding of the conditions of sale and your obligations before purchase. Failure to do so is at your risk as you are legally obliged to do so before entering a financial contract with me.

Ignorance or not understanding my terms and conditions of sale does not negate or diminish them in any way.

Rule number 2.

By purchasing this product you agree to be reasonable.

If the order takes a long time to arrive despite being sent straight away or it gets damaged, stolen or lost on the journey or if a postal worker leaves it in the sun or freezing cold or you ordered internationally and your customs and quarantine service confiscates it or they apply a fee, fine or penalty to your importation due to your non-compliance with the import regulations of your country you will not blame me or get in any way aggressive and rude in my general direction.

In that case you will accept that I did send a quality product and I did do my very best to ensure everything was OK, but there was a problem I had no control over AFTER it left my care. Therefore, it can’t really be my fault and you will not blame me for it.

Of course you have every right to be angry or frustrated about the situation in general, but not at me personally because I didn’t do any of the stuff that is making you angry.

Rule number 3.

If there is a problem and you do believe the moral obligation to fix it lies with me, you will be calm and polite about it.

Being human I admit in advance I do make the occasional mistake. You will not assume I am a thief or fiendish scammer of some sort with elaborate plans to defraud you.
Instead you will assume I am just a doofus that stuffed up by mistake because I am a doofus.

Hooves being horses, not zebras after all..

You will then contact me providing all the information relevant to your situation so I am able to investigate the problem and sort it out.

Examples of information I NEED are invoice number, user name, email address, delivery address, clear high quality pictures of the problem and most importantly clear English text in full sentences without any modern LEET~1337 stuff that I am way too old and uncool to understand.

In return I will do my very best to find a solution that is acceptable to both of us.
Win+Win being my only goal.

I do want you happy, so if I agree that it is something I have stuffed up I will immediately refund or replace your order at my expense and your choosing.

Rule number 4.

None of my products are food for you or any other people. None are sold as food or food products and none are to be considered in any way safe for human consumption.

You will wash you hands very well after touching or in any way handling all of my items and you will always maintain strict hygiene standards. You will not ingest or in any way apply any of my products to any part of your body or to the body of any other person(s), both directly or indirectly at any time. You will not in any way apply any of my products to any item that might come into close contact with any part of your body or the body of any other person(s), both directly or indirectly at any time now or in the future.

Not people food, don’t bloody eat it!

Rule number 5.

You will not hold me or my business in anyway responsible for any damages or costs incurred by the purchase, delivery, storage, handling or use of any of my products. All advice given, both on the website, social media accounts and in subsequent correspondence is a personal opinion of mine. It is based on my own personal experiences, on my own property, in my own conditions.

It is not to be considered as gospel or fact and you will accept your local conditions, your experiences and your general situation is likely to be very different to mine.

Therefore you will adapt your safety and production procedures to accommodate these differences.

Rule number 6.

You will be NICE!

You will treat all of the live animals and cultures you buy from my store with respect and decency, doing your very best to give them long comfortable lives. You will not cause any undue pain or suffering to any of them, for any reason and if your intention is to do so you will just close the tab or window and bugger off without purchase, right now!

Now you have read the terms and conditions of sale of my website daphniaculture.com you can make an informed decision as to whether you want to purchase or not. No matter what you do decide to do, be sure to have a rocking day folks!!!